So...Who's Attached to What Here?

I was muddling through my morning routine today, doing more of nothing important than anything productive. The television was on, but I wasn't really watching. First, I distantly heard Good Morning America run it's course. Then I occasionally groaned at, but mostly tried to ignore Kelly's antics on Live With Kelly. Then I got a headache when the ladies on The View started yelling at each other. It was all boring background noise until Elisabeth Hasselback called me out of my stupor.

"If you can spell milk, you should not be breastfeeding!"

"Huh? What's she talking 'bout?!" I thought as I peeked around the corner to find out.  I had to do a double take when I saw the picture on the screen.



Woman in picture is Breastfeeding.   OK

There is a child standing on stood beside Woman. OK

Child standing on stood is being breastfed. Ok.........

Wait!!!! WHAT?

Is that a kindergartener eating dinner like a baby?  Yep.
 

This of course spurred me to a bit of research. I wanted to know who this woman was, and what she was thinking not weaning her baby before he quit being a baby. Here's what I learned. The woman featured is Jamie Lynn Grumet. She's a stay-at-home mom, an advocate for something called "Attachment Parenting," and yes, she breastfeeds her four-year-old.....and her adopted six year old.

Follow this link to the time magazine story.
TIME's breastfeeding mom

Attachment Parenting  all in all, is well intended, and pretty agreeable with what society and most parents consider to be just plain old good parenting. It's based on eight principles that basically say: Be prepared for pregnancy and do it natural. keep your baby safe and bond with them throughout their lives. Teach them good sleeping habits, and make sure they know they are the center of your world. Don't be mean. Be positive, and provide a stable environment. 

visit this link for more info on attachment parenting
attachmentparenting.org

Pretty cool right? Here's the thing though, as with most child development theories (and I have studied many of them in my profession), it's the application of the theory by people who worship the it that comes out all weird. Proponents take these eight principles that most of us could probably agree on to a mild degree, and practice them to the extreme. They breastfeed their children into childhood instead of just to the point where they don't need it to survive anymore. They intentionally sleep with their children instead of periodically and happily opening their beds as refugee camps for nightmare victims. They don't spank which would create a negative, unsafe environment, but practice "positive reinforcement." It's all so perfect It's all so ideal, these parenting styles of utopia where children are innately wonderful and parents are innately the beautiful gardeners of that wonderfulness.


It's not the theory that's broken, it's the basic premise that we can possibly be the perfect parents and raise perfect kids that's broken. In real life, kids are crazy and grownups are pretty much playing it by ear trying to get them grown at least halfway decently. It's not the effort to educate people on parenting skills and narrowing it down to a list of principles that's over the top. It's the eccentric attitude that comes with the worship of the experts that removes people from reality makes them forget, that in real life, utopian parenting techniques only work in utopia!  In this case the reality is: in the United States of America, where we are not starving, kindergarteners don't need breast milk.

Be awesome. Be the best parent you can be, but by golly! Please be realistic. Who's attached to what here? Ultimately, are you really attached to the kid, or are you attached to the idea of having a perfect one?