Mamma Trust Thyself

I'm a new mommy. With that new role, comes a barrage of opinions and advice from just about every corner. The pediatrician will say one thing, and the family doctor something else. Grandma B is a vat of tried and true experience, while Auntie A has her own stories to tell. Fellow moms and veterans all have a tidbit to pass along, and even total strangers occasionally will put their two bits in!  It's not that the advice isn't well meant or welcomed. Nothing is more valuable when embarking on a new adventure than being well-informed and having a crew of support behind you. It's just easy to be overwhelmed sometimes by that support and information and forget to trust yourself.

When it came to breastfeeding, I forgot to trust myself. I went into it gung-ho. I was surrounded by a huge support system, and was well educated on it. I didn't think twice about which option was for us.  But my son had different plans, and we had a rocky start, low supply, jaundice, latch on problems, etc. etc. We had a long list of bumps. Heartbroken, I ended up having to bring formula into the equation, and nearly 3 months later he still isn't "exclusively breastfed."

 I still believe that banner line of lactation specialists everywhere, "breast is best," and I'll still feed my baby that way. I'm all about natural antibodies, less spit-up, and the host of other benefits for baby and mamma. I just feel more understanding now towards moms who choose not to. Now, instead of wondering why in the world anyone would feed their babies lab-created infant food, I say a prayer of thanks that there is a viable option, albeit a less healthy one, but a viable one none the less. I say a prayer of thanks that American mothers today who can't or don't breastfeed don't have to worry about their babies dying from malnutrition or dangerous and primitive alternatives. I also pray a prayer of thanks that infant formulas, which are insanely expensive are made affordable for low income families via programs like WIC, thereby making formula feeding not a status symbol, but a viable option for mothers who may not have any options  otherwise.

 I'm sure some of ya'll may disagree, but even though I believe in breastfeeding with everything I've got, I can't give other moms who can't or don't a hard time now. Why? Because I am a breastfeeding mom who didn't have it easy. I am a breastfeeding mom who is glad she had a "viable option."  I am a breastfeeding mom who still gets discouraged when she hears moms talk about how wonderful their time was, and fights feelings of guilt when she gives her baby formula or finds herself fighting to reach that 6 month goal. I've spent hours upon hours in the hospital lactation office, read every book I can find, and listened to thousands upon thousands of opinions. I have a wonderful group of support persons, and a growing bank of information, but I've come to this conclusion: Trust yourself. Follow your instincts. Baby needs more than momma's milk. baby needs momma's sanity too.

Breast milk IS best, and because of that, I won't give up. But guilt has no place, because formula is food food too. I am a breastfeeding mom with a bumpy start, but I am a breastfeeding mom who has found peace with what she can do and made peace with supplementation.