Things That Go Bump In The Night

I worry.

My whole life I've known the passages in the Bible that tell us not to worry. I read it. I believed it. But I never understood why. Why not worry? Why is it such a harmful thing to do? Worrying hasn't ever killed anyone..has it? It's only my thoughts within the confines of my own mind. How does that matter? Let me tell you: it matters.

This morning, in the wee hours before the sun arose, I was awakened by an alarming noise. The front door quietly shutting. I gasped awake.

Ever since as long as I can remember, noises in the night have frightened me. I always hoped I'd grow out of it, but I never did. I am particularly plagued by the fear that someone will break into my house. I will often have nightmares or have a hard time falling asleep because I'm creating worst case scenarios in my mind. Sometimes, I'll be awakened by noises-innocent noises like my neighbors coming and going for their late night work shifts, cats fighting near my door, or a sudden late-night thunderstorm. Those noises, are no threat to me. Yet, they keep me awake some nights.

I thought it was no big deal.....

I gasped awake at the sound of the front door, and immediately nudged my husband. Thankfully our son was asleep between us. Otherwise, I may have died on the spot.

"PSSSTT! Honey! I think someone's in the house!" 

"That's too bad for them..." He rolled over and went back to sleep. Of course, I could not. 

I peeked up from my covers out our open bedroom door. I could see into the dinning room. I saw exactly what I feared...as much of a person as you can make out in a dark house from 15 feet away. After that, I heard the floorboards in the hallway creak. Then soft dragging foot steps that seemed to creep closer, and closer to my room. They crept, and crept until a figure formed a shadow on the white backdrop of my open door. I heard more foot steps. Then there was a loud slam. I couldn't tell if it was my front door again or a car's hood being shut, but then the noises were gone. 

I couldn't call 911 because my phone was all the way across the house instead of on my nightstand like usual. So, I just laid there and prayed until the noises stopped. Finally, I fell asleep. 

When I got up this morning, nothing had been disturbed. My wallet was on the counter-debit cards, I.D, and cash all in place. Our cars were still in the carport, my wedding rings on the kitchen windowsill. Every window in the house was locked, and every screen untouched. Creepily though, the front door was unlocked and partially cracked open. Josh thought he'd locked it before going to bed, but I suppose he'd just forgot.

nightmare crisis averted

Apparently, no one broke into my house last night, but I was given a powerful reminder that your mind does matter. Worry is bad. It's bad because it hurts you. God's serious when he says not to worry. Those noises and shadows last night weren't what I thought they were, but they weren't from God. They were a wake up call. Worry is unhealthy. Anxiety is real, and it will mess with your mind. 

I want God to be the master of my mind. I want to trust Him. His Spirit should rule my heart, not the evil spirit of worry and fear. 

"For God hath not given us the Spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"

2 Timothy 1:7

I'm holding on the that promise today, I hope you will too. Don't let your mind be consumed by worry. Fill your mind with God's words and be comforted by the peace that is his spirit. The mind is a battle ground, don't go into it without your sword.