Greener Grass Under Someone Else's Belly

From the very beginning, I've heard such promising things about pregnancy.

"I never looked better or felt better than when I was pregnant! it was the best time of my life." One woman told me when she heard I was expecting.

"It was the most amazing experience of my life," a newly delivered mom told me, "I never felt so feminine in all my life than when I was pregnant. I can't wait to do it all again."

The other day, I waddled into the bank, far from glowing. The woman behind the counter was pregnant too, and due the same day as me! But the woman behind the counter was bouncing around in high heels. I looked down at my swollen feet and asked her how she does it? her answer?

"Oh, it's no big deal. I used to wear them all the time before I got pregnant?"

I groaned inwardly,  "Well kudos and brownie points to you!  once upon a time, so did I."

There's a cliche statement, "the grass is always greener on the other side," well, I propose that in pregnancy, sometimes, It's not the other side where the grass is greener, but under someone else's pregnant belly. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy as a lark, but if high heels and feeling great are synonymous with pregnancy...

...That's not my grass and that's not my belly...



I'm pretty much a beached whale, and I'm not even to the last two months yet. Forget the heels, I traded those in for tennis shoes and orthopedic insoles.I mean who wants to balance 25 extra pounds on a stick with a radius no bigger than an artichoke? Not this girl!

As far as feeling feminine, and wonderful....well, I put make up on sometimes. Does that count? Really though, except for the knowledge that it's only my femininity that biologically allows me to grow another human being inside of my own body, I have no more worship for it than I ever did. I'm a female. cool. my body can grow a baby. Well nifty! Give me an A in biology!

 "Welcome to the third trimester,"  That's what I told myself on Sunday.... "just 12 more weeks to go." Growing parts is real hard work, and kinda like college, I'll be very happy when it's over. I'm enjoying the experience, no doubt, but don't sign me up again too soon!

Greener grass may not really be on the other side or under someone else's belly after all, but right now I don't care what color the grass is or where it's at, I just wanna lay in it and prop my feet up while I give myself this pep talk:

"12 more weeks..... 12 more weeks... 12 more weeks..."