Don't Guilt the Homemaker!

The other night, I browsed through my Facebook newsfeed. I scrolled down the page and noticed a video a friend had "shared." I followed the link, It led me to a blog by a man named Doug.
On his page, he shared a video of a woman, a "Physician [who] Gave Up Medical Practice to Be a Wife and Mother of Eight Children for the Glory of God!". She had the choice of her family or her career, and picked her family. Kudos to her.

But here's the thing, While I appreciated the sacrifice this woman made, I didn't appreciate the guilt tripping attitude that seemed to be the blogger's motive behind sharing it. He stated that more and more women are discovering the "fraud" of the independent career woman and that the better way is to be a "Titus 2 mother." What's that? Well according to Doug, that means: submissive to husbands, being mothers and homemakers, and staying at home!

So I got to wondering, does the bible say women should stay at home? Like a good "submissive wife,"  I consulted my husband, and asked him to help me. Here's what we learned: The Bible has a lot to say about women. Staying home isn't necessarily one of them, but taking care of your family sure is!

 In Titus 2, Paul instructs Titus to teach that women should be, among other good things,  "Keepers of the home." Some translations read "Homemakers," or "busy at home."  Either way you get the idea that a Godly woman takes care of her household. 1 Timothy 5:14 is another place that talks about the role of women. Here, Timothy is told that women should get married, be moms, and....here's the phrase again...manage their households!

Managing a household....that made us think of the "Virtuous Woman"  in Proverbs 31. So we checked her out too. Guess what she was up to when we visited her? She was out on business. She'd been trading and selling stuff she'd been making and was out planting a vineyard in a field she bought with the profits. From what her husband and kids said about her though, she's a pretty awesome lady. Smart and independent, an excellent businesswoman, and a hard worker. She manages the house so well that nobody, not even the servants or the poor neighbors ever need anything! Because of her, her husband is well known in town and is respected.

Here's my point: There's not a fraud to be found in being a working mom or wife. Our instruction as women, as homemakers, is to manage our home and care for our families. It's to raise our children well and to honor and obey our husbands. If you stay at home full time to do that, good for you.
 I'm not demeaning that. In fact, I'm looking forward to doing that myself.

What I am challenging is the idea that "managing a home" always means "staying at home" and that women who don't, aren't following God's call or being "submissive." As a married woman, God gave me a home, and a family to care for and a husband to follow. Until now, managing my home and family has meant I need to work. If I didn't, I couldn't say my household affairs were managed! As far as being "submissive,"  it doesn't mean I make sure that my husband's the only wage earner. It means I look to him as leader and don't try to be his boss. If he wants me to quit working and thinks we'll be alright, then I say "yes sir!" and turn in my resignation. I don't put up a fuss and hold up my feminine power and legal "equal rights."

We needn't feel like worse wives or moms if our children and husbands eat frozen pizza or store-bought bread or if we hire a housekeeper to help with the chores. They are fed aren't they? They are clothed aren't they? Just because one woman can or has chosen to stay at home to be a homemaker, that doesn't mean the woman who either can't or has chosen not to stay at home while she makes a home is any less of a woman or any less of a home manager. Guilt has no place. Judgement has no place either.

Manage the home: that's our job description. How we do it is up for interpretation. If our children rise up and call us blessed, if our husbands are known in the gates and are respected, if our family's needs are met physically, spiritually, and emotionally, we are doing our job.