Arsenic Sauce

                                                                                                  

"You're a mean one Mr. Grinch..." 

Those were the words that played in my head this morning as I walked out of my door. I was packing the car to take my little family home for Christmas, when I stepped in a puddle of goo....the runny pink kind that comes out of the car and means you're going nowhere....Transmission fluid. 

So, I turned around to pack the other car instead, but when I saw it, I sang...

"You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.

Your heart's an empty hole."

...because that heartless Mr. Grinch with spiders in his brains and garlic in his soul, had punched a hole in a tire of my only working car! If that Grinch were real, I'd just beat him 

with....

"a Thirty-nine and a half foot pole!"

The old song says, I'll be home for Christmas. Well, I guess it's true, beause when the Grinch,  that
"nasty, wasty, skunk," gives daddy, baby, auntie, and grandma all the flu, you're just

Stink

Stank 

Stunk!

So what do you do when the Grinch tries to steal Christmas? Do you cry? Do you scream? Do you throw "a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots?"  Well, you could, but I doubt if it will help anything.

 When the Grinch steals Christmas, slashes your tire, drops your transmission pan, and strikes grandma with the flu. You eat a bunch of divinity and a loaf of  Christmas bread. You send a card to Grandma, and thank God your stuck at home and not someplace along the road. You change your plans on a whim and go caroling with friends, and open presents in your own house instead.

When the Grinch steals Christmas, just yell "ARSENIC SAUCE!" and have a holiday instead.