Modest Modesty

 DISCLAIMER: This post is adapted from a short research paper that I have written. leave a comment with your email address if you would like to view the original paper in its entirety. I've done my best to cut it down to a more readable length, but this will still much longer than my usual post. 

 When the summer began, it seemed like everyone was weighing in on the topic of "modesty." A blog about a girl who sacrificed her bikini for modesty got passed around, and a video about the evolution of the swimsuit got  a couple million hits. There was even a question about it on the Ms. America pageant! Honestly, I was getting tired of it. I didn't see a problem with my having "rocked it" in a bikini 50 lbs ago,  or in wanting to do it again. I was beginning to get annoyed by everyone's pressing of the issue. But, my annoyance, like most things in my life, inspired me to write. 

But before I could write, I had to study. So, I watched that video on the swimsuit, and read the Bikini Question blog again. I checked out a book by Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar, and I read a book about a former Victoria's Secret model who gave up her career to be modest. I consulted the dictionary and the Bible. I prayed. I asked my husband and I polled my friends. You may or may not expect or agree with the conclusions I have reached, but I hope that you understand that this in my journey and my opinion. These conclusions have not been reached in haste, and they are not the ones I began with. 

The first question I began to ask was, "what does the word 'modest' mean?" I conducted an informal survey and got an array of answers, but the general consensus referred to the way in which a person dressed their bodies. I was not surprised by this, as it was in line with what I also believed the word referred to. However, a closer look at the word revealed that my definition had narrowed over time.  

In the current English language, the word "modest" has a few different applications and uses, but they have a common theme. For example, if a person's salary is considered "modest," it is being described as being neither extravagant nor insufficient. The individual is compensated with moderation, modestly. Also, it can refer to the character quality of humility. A person's "modesty" is noted, when given a compliment, they defer the praise. So, if modesty, in both of these instances, refers to humility and moderation, wouldn't it follow that modest dress would have a similar definition? 

According to the dictionary, "modesty" means "1. freedom from vanity and conciet. 2. Propriety in conduct, speech, and dress." We see here that modesty of dress brings in a couple new characteristics, Propriety and discretion. Propriety mean to conform to social norms, and discretion means to display good taste and judgement. Therefore, it would follow that modesty in dress doesn't bring excessive attention to itself and is socially appropriate. 

What is socially acceptable is decided by our culture and our particular situation. For example, in the Amazon jungle, it is socially acceptable to wear nothing but paint and beads, but across the ocean some Muslim women could be severely punished for showing more than one eye! Also, within our own American culture, discretion and propriety dictate that one cannot wear a prom dress to Sunday School, pajamas to a job interview, or a swimsuit to a funeral. However, a person with sound judgement, a person who was being respectful and polite, would have the tact to know that such outfits in their given situations would be deemed socially unacceptable. A modest person would wear the said outfits in their proper social settings, making what was once appalling and immodest, appropriate and nice once again. 

"like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion." -Proverbs, 11:22

Now, to a Christian, there is more to modesty than culture and governing social norms. If you aren't at least religious, it doesn't matter as much what you wear or why. Some would say that it only matters if you're a Christian, but I beg to differ. Not only do other religions have standards of appropriate dress, human beings, regardless of upbringing or religious beliefs have the common instinct to cover themselves. In my informal survey, There were Christians as well as Atheists answering the same questions. There were people of differing faiths, ages, and circumstances, but they all had one thing in common. They all felt compelled to cover their private parts. Each had some kind of standard when it came to their clothes. Some of those standards were vague while others were more specific. Some were based in their interpretation of scripture. Others were based solely on social and cultural expectations and what they deemed as "common sense." However, they all had a standard. 

I noticed though, that among survey participants, this is the end of the common ground between the religious and the non religious. To those who didn't feel accountable to a higher power, modesty extended only to the boundaries of society and culture. Outside of social norms, personal taste was the only governing factor. For Christians, modesty runs deeper. So, beyond this point, Christians and non Christians will likely not agree. Therefore, as Christians, we would do well to remember: Modesty is not the Gospel. Christ is. Preaching modesty to the lost is like giving a sugar pill to a cancer patient. It won't do a lick of good. Let us remember then to be modest in our approach to modesty, keeping in mind the extent of their definition, and being sensitive tot the most urgent need. 

Christians strive for modesty in every aspect of life because Christians want to be like Christ, and the Bible tells us that Christ embodied modesty. Check out the book of Philippians sometime. In it, the apostle Paul pretty much tells us that Jesus Christ had every reason to see himself as greater than humans, because frankly, he was. He was the Son of God for goodness sake! He was greater than even the angels. However, when he came to earth, he came humbly, modestly. He came as a man. Christians say a whole lot, but when you boil it down to the bones, this is why Christians believe in modesty. 

However, once you go beyond that basis, you find a lot of differences among the Christians and their attempts to look and act modestly. Some are very adamant. But I don't believe the Bible lays out a specific dress code. If the Bible said, "repent, be baptized, and cover your bodies from neck to ankle, we'd have a lot less to argue about." But it doesn't say that. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 tells us that we should dress ourselves with "humility" and "good works." One family that lives a good example of this is the Duggar family. In their book, "A Love that Multiplies," Jim Bob addresses their stance on modest dress. Although they practice a fairly strict dress code in their home, he refers to their stance as a "personal conviction,"  and doesn't press it on others. 

In the books of Romans and 1 Corinthians, the apostle Paul addresses a very relevant situation. Apparently, some folks were concerned about eating food that had been sacrificed to idols, and the concern was brought to Paul's attention. He simply told them not to fight about it and not judge each other. He let's them know that each person is responsible for following their own conscience in matters of opinion, and that the ones of us whose consciences are not offended by eating certain foods shouldn't bother the ones that are. Furthermore, we should be willing to give up things that don't matter like meat if it will keep our brothers and sisters from sinning. 

I believe the same thing can be said for our standards of modest clothing. As a Christian, I need to be sensitive to the convictions of the brothers and sisters around me. Some of them feel very strongly about the length of their hair or the amount of fabric covering their knees. Some have made drastic changes to their wardrobes in order to follow their Spirit led consciences. Going into this project, I was guilty of being judgmental and insensitive towards them. For that, I am truly sorry. I went into this project with a very short yardstick, and God turned it back on me. 

Even though I'm not changing my wardrobe all that much, the way that I think about it has most definitely changed. I don't want to be remembered for the clothes that I wear. That's why I'm NOT making a vow to wear only dresses and skirts from now on and never again cut my hair. Where I am, that would stick out. That would draw undue attention to myself. Maybe some folks can make that adjustment and not bring extra attention to themselves. I don't know, and it's not my business. However, I know that I can't. I did, however, change my mind about that bikini. I decided "rocking it" was showing off. I knew what I was doing. I was showing off my body. I also know that my heart needs checking because my heart wasn't right. 

 So, what's the takeaway?

First, remember that modesty isn't the Gospel. Christ is. Our job is to bring people to the Great Physician. His job is to fix them. Second, straddle the subject of modesty with modesty. If you must say anything, let it be with humility, propriety and respect. That is the true meaning of modesty. Next, be careful with your yardstick. Remember that Jesus said, "Judge not that you be not judged." and "With what measure you measure, it will be measured to you again."  God has a perfect memory, and he knows how you're judging others. He will judge you with the same standard. It will come back to you. Lastly, I pose the same question to the guy in the polo and khakis as I do the guy with baby oil slathered on his washboard abs. I ask the girl in the bikini the same thing as I do the girl in the floor length dress. I ask: What are you thinking when you're wearing what you're wearing? What are you trying to show? Are you trying to show off your body or are you trying to show off how much of your body that you can cover. Either way, you're showing the same attitude: Immodesty. 

"A man looks at the outside of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7

Works Cited

 1. Parnell, Laura. "Modesty." Survey. 21 June 2013

2. Duggar, Michelle, and Jim Bob. "Modesty Matters."  A Love That Multiplies: An Up-close View of How They Make It Work. New York: Howard, 2011. 100-02. Print.

3. New King James Version. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1982. Print.

4. Bisutti, Kylie. I'm No Angel: From Victoria's Secret Model to Role Model. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House, 2013. Print.

5. Rey, Jessica. "Jessica Rey-The Evolution of the Swimsuit." Online video clip. YouTube. YouTube, 17 June 2013, Web. 15 June. 2013

6. Byrne, Mara. "The Bikini Question."  Web log post. Made In His Image. Madeinhisimage.org, 28 May 2013. Web. 21 June 2013

7. "Modesty." Def. 2., Def. 1. Merriam Webster Online, Merriam Webster, n.d. Web. 22 June. 2013