Do You Play Cards?

"Do you play cards?" 

That was one of the questions a few of the church members had for us when they were trying to decide if they wanted us to move here or not. I remember thinking it was kind of odd that card playing was such an important prerequisite to pulpit ministry, but I play a game of Old Maid or Go Fish now and then. So, I just said "yeah....I like cards." 

But those were not the card games our new friends were talking about.

They meant games where you can dump five whole decks of cards on a table and pull hands and feet out of it. They meant games where when somebody steals your move and ruins your plan, you holler that they burned your ace, and when you don't know what to do, you just say "Zero!" 

I do so love my friends, and I enjoy learning new things, but some things just take a little time to click. For me, card games are one of them. The game "Sequence" translated to "Sequins" in my brain the first few times I heard it, and my mistranslation was further solidified when someone mentioned that you played it with brightly colored chips! The words "Gin Rummy" don't conjure up images of jacks and kings and queens and aces. Instead, I think of cotton farmers in a gin drinking yummy rum. When someone says "Texas Hold'em" I look for someone named Texas holding something, and "Trumps" makes me think of a man with a bad toupee. 

There's a lot going on in my head when I'm learning a new card game. For one thing, I am forever having to rehearse the difference between a club and a spade in my head “puppyfeet=Clubs. Garden shovels=Spades...ok got it"  For another, I don't learn very well by listening to instructions, and I tend to space out a little when my brain gets overheated. So, usually I hear about half of the instructions before things start sounding like an episode of charlie brown....

" So on your next turn, you'll draw two and discard one, but if you have seventy points then you go down because....AAA WAA WAAA WAAA Er Waa waa WAa wa wa..." 

Next thing I know, my turn's over and I don't even know what happened! So, I watch and listen and try to piece together the rules from what everyone else is doing, but it’s like another language! Somebody bids one and gets two. Somebody else goes down and gets in their foot. Somebody gets their ace burnt and somebody apparently just trumped me. All I know is, I got some cards and it’s about to be my turn again. So, I, I usually pick a card at random and mimic what everyone else does on their turn. Usually, judging by everyone else’s reaction to the card(s) I laid down, I know if it was a good or a bad move. Eventually, the fog lifts and the rules hit me in the head like a deck of cards. But, I’m totally at the mercy of that moment, because until it decides to grace me with its presence (and sometimes it never does), everyone might as well be speaking Greek, and my hand is not much more than a fan to cool my overheating brain!

Card games….needless to say, are not my forte, but my friends sure are. I’m so blessed that they are such good sports! They sure have taught me an important lesson though. Next time someone asks me if I like cards I’ll be sure to check which cards they mean!